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Hope all the Dads out there had a great Father’s Day this past weekend

Father’s Day reminded me of why I started down this path of self development/self improvement. My goal is to find a better Life Balance & become a better person for my son. I want him to learn things from me that the world doesn’t do a good job at teaching.

Much of what I have learned over the past few years is actually more of an UNLEARNING of things I’ve been taught since I was a child.

We’re taught a TON of very limiting things in school, from our religions, friends, and family members. Much of it is not meant to be malicious, but a continuation of a teaching cycle that has been around for years.

I want to help break my son’s and your limiting beliefs. I believe everyone has a chance to be much more than they are, if they believe it and are willing to act accordingly.

8 limiting beliefs you need to break TODAY

1. The Default Path will make you successful

Early on in my journey I read a book by Paul Millerd called “The Pathless Path”. He refers to the “Default Path” as the thing many of us are taught at a young age. Go to school, get good grades, get a good job, you’ll be set for life!

Maybe at some point this was true, but for many it’s not the case anymore. America’s Outlook For Their Retirement Has Worsened with ~43% of non-retired American’s feeling comfortable that they’ll have enough money to survive when they retire. That’s down from ~60% in 2002.

For some, the default path may feel secure and what you’re comfortable with. That’s your call to make.

Just know that no one on the Forbes Top 400 list has an occupation of “mid level employee who followed the ‘Default Path’”

2. Failure is Bad

This is where I think school really starts to fall apart

The focus of school is to praise those who do well and berate those who don’t get good grades. If you fail you will not succeed!!!

Failure is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things in the real world.

Schools teach that you need to learn to things the “right way”, the first time, and there is no other option. The real world is the total opposite. There is rarely a “right way”.

I work with some amazing people that to this day are TERRIFIED of failing.

No, I’m not advocating for you to go out and just start fuckin shit up in the name of failure. What I’m saying is that you cannot let the FEAR of failure hold you back from taking the right risks that might change your life.

Learn to try, fail fast, learn faster, iterate, and try again

3. You Need To Be The Smartest To Succeed

50 Cent has been quoted saying something similar. Robert Kiyosaki author of “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” constantly talks about how your A students will end up working for C students.

This is another example of the what the school system teaches you to put value on compared to what is truly important in the real world.

A classic example is the story about the father of the assembly line, Henry Ford, in Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich”. Ford was once called an “Ignorant Pacifist” by a Chicago newspaper. They later tried to prove this by taking him to court and quizzing him on various subjects, many of which he could not answer.

Ford fought back by asking why would he clutter his mind with this information that serves no benefit to him or his industry.

His focus and skill wasn’t on knowing the most, it was instead on having a mastermind around him who could answer the hard questions and using his skills as a leader to bring these groups together to build one of the biggest card brands in history

4. Money/Rich = EVIL!

You are constantly taught that money is the root of all evil. To truly be pious you should give up all worldly possessions, only then can you help those in need.

Money is nothing more than an amplifier

If you were kind and generous as a broke person, there’s a chance you’ll be the same when you have money. If you’re a dick when you’re broke, you’ll probably be a dick when you have money too. Shocking right?

The real problem here isn’t just the idea of money being evil, but using it as a reason for why you are in the financial situation you’re in OR why you think having money is evil. All you’re doing is trying to transfer blame and justify your situation.

You need to take accountability for your life and situation.

If you want to make a positive change you need to understand the game of money. Learn to play the rules and find people to help you win the game.

5. You Need Money To Make Money

It is true that having money gives you access to more resources to help make more money, but it is not a requirement to even start a business.

Great resource here is a man by the name of Noah Kagan author of “Million Dollar Weekend”. His entire book (and also an incredible YouTube channel) covers how you can come up with a business idea, validate it, test it, and get your first customer in 48 hours. WITHOUT SPENDING A PENNY.

Again schools and most of the world come at you with questions like:

• “What’s your business plan?”

• “Have you assessed how risky this is?”

• “Are you even qualified to do this work?”

• “How can I take you seriously without a name, website, logo, trademarking, blah, blah, blah:

The basics of anything come down to 2 things:

1. Supply

2. Demand

If you can validate that there is a demand and you can supply then you have a business idea.

I would strongly encourage reading his book & checking out his youtube page. He walks through a bunch of examples and tries stuff himself.

My goal is to walk through his framework and document it in an upcoming newsletter too!

6. Ignore Advice from Broke People

This comes in many flavors, but the idea is, if someone isn’t a success in something, why would you take advice from them?

I once talked to a guy who said “real estate is an absolute scam, only idiots get in to that business, you’ll do nothing, but LOSE MONEY!!!!” If you take a statement like that at face value you might think, wow, I should never get in to an investment like this. Truth is people like this have failed & want to project their failure to others.

If you can’t succeed either, it feeds their own confirmation bias that it was the opportunity and not the person.

On the flip side, I’ve also talked to extremely wealthy people who are in real estate and say it’s great and has helped amass them significant wealth.

We all know the saying “you are the sum of the 5 people you hang out with”. Studies have shown that being close to high performers in the work place can boost your personal performance by up to 15%. The same goes for life.

Hang out with the people who live the life you want and have the successes you desire.

Learn from the WINNERS, not the LOSERS

7. Those Who Care the Most Often Hurt The Most

This may be the hardest pill to swallow for many of you, but the fact is it’s true.

The hardest part here is that it’s not obvious and it is often far from intentional. Consider if, in life, every interaction is transactional. Meaning anything that happens has some sort of benefit for at least 1 of the 2 parties.

This is not a bad thing, it’s human nature.

However, the problem is that when people give “advice” it’s often limited to their experiences and also to guide you in a direction that THEY believe you should go. If we consider advice to be part of that transactional paradigm then the advice is also to help the person giving it in some way.

I’ll give a great example, your kids.

We often give advice to them so that their actions are based on our desires as parents. Go to bed at a certain time, act a certain way, talk a certain way, follow a certain life path, etc.

Why? Because we believe it either makes our lives easier or reflects on our abilities as parents

As parents we love to brag about our kids and we brag about what we are taught is “important”. Titles, career paths, big purchases. Things that have been drilled in to us as “successes”

The worst part about this is that this can become a toxic interaction wrapped in a veil of caring. If you are not cautiously aware of how to handle these interactions you may take action in your life that you will regret later.

This becomes like a festering wound where regret leads to resentment

What I’ve tried to do to overcome this is 3 things

1. Listen for experiences & try to understand WHY they are giving you this “advice”

2. Recognize that there is a good chance that the “advice” may not be fully informed with your own personal goals and opinions. Be willing to hear it, but not accept.

On the flip side I’ve also tried to stay away from giving advice. I’ll happily share my experiences and what I’ve learned, but with the goal to help another person make an informed decision on their own. I want to help open others up to new ways of thinking so they can be the best version of themselves.

8. Being Crazy Isn’t A Bad Thing

One of the most influential people in my life was my uncle. I took a lot of nuggets from him on life and business over the years before he passed away. There is something he said to me, that has ALWAYS stuck with me

Strangely, I never once questioned or was confused by what this meant.

The world has an idea of how you should act and the things you should do, again the “Default Path” (seeing a common thread here?). When you veer off that path to try something different, do something new, go over and above what your colleagues are doing you are all told the same thing:

“You’re crazy, why would you do this?”

Crazy isn’t a psychological issue, it just means you have strayed from the norm. You have a desire to do more, to be more than those around you. To the pre-programmed, this will feel “crazy”

The definition of the word normal is “the usual, average, typical state or condition”

If you want to be successful you’ll never be what many consider normal. You will be seen as an outlier to many, especially those who do not share the same goals and are less successful.

Don’t view this name calling as bad.

Take some time to understand if you are truly doing something bad or unhealthy or if you are just in the category now of someone who wants more out of life. Never let name calling slow you down from your goals

Hell, It’s 2:30 am here and I’m just finishing up writing this. Call me crazy if you want, but…

“Sometimes you have to be a little crazy to be successful” (Thanks UT!)

Upcoming Announcement!

I’ve been working on a project idea for some time and I’m going to start to roll it out over the next few days. It’ll be something I’ll talk about a lot in upcoming newsletters and on social media. A bit of a fun chance to interact with some people and help out on a personal level.

Look forward to sharing more soon!

One Final Thing! 👋

I really love hearing from you guys and am always looking for feedback. How am I doing with this newsletter? Is there anything you’d like to hear me talk more (or less) about? Which aspects of the newsletter do you enjoy the most?

Hit reply and even just say hi!

I’d love to hear from you & I respond to every email!

Thanks for reading!

~ A.J. Zampella ✌️

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Little about who I am and what I’m here to do:

15 years in tech & 20 years as a DJ

Mid-career professional trying to thrive in work and life

I spend 100s of hours figuring it out so you can learn in <5 minutes a week!

Other Interesting Things Around the Web I do:

• Free DJ Sets/Mixes on Soundcloud - Yes I still DJ pretty often too

• #AJsBookClub - Big Book Guy. We talk about “success focused books”

• Grim & Grind - My clothing line, all things Creepy & Caffeinated